DATING AFTER 50: WHAT TO EXPECT
You are never too old to fall in love and so many people nowadays are finding love again or even for the first time after the age of fifty. Dating at this age does come with a lot of expectations however as people have already been on the dating scene for quite some time. Here are some things to expect if planning on dating after the age of fifty.
You’ll Know What You Want.. And So Will They
The beauty of getting into a relationship when you’re a little older is you already know what things you like and want from a relationship and so will the people you date too. You have the freedom to do and say what you want – you can choose to try to find someone for a long term relationship or perhaps even consider taking it slowly by casually dating a few people at a time. Knowing exactly what you want and exactly what you want will help to avoid any uneasiness and awkwardness and hopefully lead to a fun time for both.
You Still Need To Stay Safe And Use Your Common Sense
When we’ve been around for some time, it can be quite easy to believe we are invincible but the truth is that really isn’t the case. You may have just come out of a long term relationship and are a little vulnerable or you may be happy and feeling stronger than ever but that is no reason for common sense to go out the window. When meeting someone for the first time, whether male or female, it is important to be safe and take precautions – meet for the first time in a heavily populated area such as a bar or restaurant until you get to know them a little better. Just because we have faith in ourselves to know if a situation could go south, we also need to not have blind faith in others.
It May Not Just Be Them…And That’s Okay
When dating after fifty, there is a big chance that either you or the person you are dating already has a family of their own, they may come as a ‘package deal’. It is important to remember that it may not just be them in the relationship and that is okay – if you’re really interested in each other, their family shouldn’t be a big deal and you may even find yourself getting on really well with them!
You’ll never replace their other parent but should your relationship develop into something further, it is important to get on with your partner’s family as best as possible so don’t be wary of dating men or women who do have a family already – if you’re interested in the person that really shouldn’t matter.
There Could Be Some Baggage
At the age of fifty plus, people are bound to be carrying some form of baggage. Whether caring for one of their elderly parents, a grandchild or a child with a disability or whether they’ve gone through a messy divorce and are wary about getting heavily involved in a relationship again, everyone has something that has happened in the past.
Caring for another family member will of course take priority over their own needs so sometimes dating can be a little tough however that is no reason not to persevere as they deserve to be happy too! A messy divorce won’t take priority of course as it has already happened but sometimes people carry for the battle wounds for quite some time and can be quite vulnerable – they need someone to help them mend and that’s where we come in.
Whilst we can help each other deal with our baggage, don’t bond over it – it won’t lead to anything positive and will just lead to you both complaining about the rubbish hand life has dealt you.
There Is No Need To Rush Into Things
When dating after 50, people often expect that they need to rush into things – but they really don’t! It is important when dating or starting a new long term relationship to be comfortable with how things are and if people start to rush into things, they may become unhappy with how things are going.
It is easy to see why some people feel the need to rush – after a doomed relationship we can often feel like we are going to be ‘left on the shelf’ and try to find something to replace it as quickly as possible – something we don’t need to do. We don’t need to rush straight into another long term relationship if we don’t want to, we don’t have to have sex until we are truly comfortable with ourselves and the other person, we don’t have to agree to anything we don’t want to – we know what we want and we are in control of our lives.
You don’t have to plan a future straight away. Whilst others over fifty may be meeting someone new and moving in with them or getting married within mere months, you don’t have to as well. Some people panic that they will be on their own as they get older but you don’t need to map out your future together after just a couple of dates – just have fun and see how it goes.
You Will Find Yourself Opening Up
Whilst it is important that you don’t bond over your baggage, you can expect to find yourself opening up more than you would expect when deciding to date over the age of fifty. We are aware of our wants and needs, what we want in both life and a relationship and we are likely to open up about this.
Dating is a personal thing so despite not talking about certain issues on the first few dates, we can easily give little bits of information about ourselves to our dates without revealing too much and can answer their questions should they have anyway. You’ll also be interested in finding out more about them too so remember to ask questions yourself!
Dating after the age of fifty can be a daunting task but it is clear to see that it can be a lot of fun – and if you expect the things above, you won’t be surprised and can enjoy yourself a little more.